The primary time I learn the Tune of Songs within the Bible I believed, No. Manner. I instantly grabbed a good friend’s Bible to see if his featured the identical guide. “Dude, have you ever learn this? That is unbelievable!”
“What? What’s it?”
“Clusters, man! They’re speaking about climbing palm timber and taking maintain of clusters! IN THE BIBLE! It’s proper right here!” I used to be a teen Christian with lively hormones, and my grandmother’s prayers had been lastly being answered as a result of I out of the blue developed an intense starvation for the Phrase. Hallelujah!
Right here’s some context
Over time, in fact, I noticed that the connection described in Solomon’s Tune, together with these face-blushing palm tree and cluster verses, occurred inside a particular context. Within the midst of gorgeous, poetic language concerning the phases of a relationship that begin with a look and finally result in the honeymoon, the creator fees us 3 times, “Don’t arouse or awaken love till it pleases,” or, as paraphrased by Eugene Peterson in The Message, “Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, till the time is ripe — and also you’re prepared.”
I typically level to this guide when individuals, normally younger singles, ask me about relationships and premarital intercourse. They wish to know, the place, precisely, does the Bible speak about pre- or extra-marital intercourse, when neither companion is married. They know concerning the adultery prohibitions, they usually agree — you shouldn’t have intercourse with somebody who’s another person’s partner. However the place does it speak about not having intercourse if there isn’t any partner concerned? You’ve gotten two consenting adults, and neither has made any vow to every other particular person, so it’s not technically adultery. What’s fallacious with that? Does the Bible converse to these conditions?
I like to begin with Solomon’s Tune, as a result of it celebrates the entire bundle of the connection — preliminary attraction, thrilling feelings, longing, and sexual intimacy — and it connects all of this to the correct context or timing, when “it pleases,” a timing that’s marked by public approval of the connection, highlighted by a marriage (chapter 3). The entire relationship, together with the celebration of the sexual facets, takes place throughout the context of group approval — no, greater than approval — rejoicing.
I ask these younger, single singles, does the group — your folks, household, church — have fun your personal, sexual liaisons? When it seems that a being pregnant would possibly outcome, is there rejoicing? No, in fact not. Why not? The timing is fallacious. The context is fallacious. A non-public affair is being compelled out into the general public and is clouded by disgrace. You’ve “aroused love earlier than its time.” There can be ache, disappointment, and disappointment. Examine that to the tone of Solomon’s Tune. The {couples}’ sexual life within the Tune of Solomon takes place throughout the context of a lifelong dedication of marriage, and the group rejoices. It’ll produce grandbabies, nieces, nephews, extra members of the little platoon of the household. The {couples}’ intercourse life is finally a social profit. That, I say to my younger single pals, is an image of intercourse within the correct context.
Have in mind, I say, that in biblical occasions there simply wasn’t a complete lot of intercourse happening earlier than marriage, since individuals married at such younger ages, and there simply wasn’t a lot time between reaching the age of sexual maturity and marriage. A lot of the intercourse happening was after marriage, both together with your partner, which was good, or not together with your partner, which was prohibited, and that’s why there’s extra speak about adultery than premarital intercourse. We wrestle with this concern extra now as a result of the time span between reaching the age of sexual maturity and marriage has bumped up a decade or two since biblical occasions.
I additionally add that we in all probability wouldn’t even be having this dialog had been it not for contraception, particularly the “tablet,” and if abortions weren’t really easy to acquire. With out contraception and abortion, intercourse would imply a better probability of elevating infants, and elevating infants would imply dedication, and dedication would imply marriage. That’s life in biblical occasions, so the query itself didn’t get a lot dialogue in a world the place intercourse and infants went collectively rather more than they do in our time.
What else?
Then I point out Hebrews 13:4, the place the creator distinguishes two forms of intercourse which can be prohibited. The primary, moichos, refers to a married particular person having intercourse with somebody aside from his or her partner and is mostly translated as adultery. The second, porneia, on this case, refers to every other single intercourse, normally translated as fornication or sexual immorality.
“The rest?” they are saying.
How about Ephesians 5:1-3, the place we’re instructed to haven’t even a trace of sexual immorality (porneia) or any type of impurity in our lives. Do you suppose premarital intercourse is perhaps at the very least a touch of sexual immorality? I ask.
Perhaps, they are saying. What else do you have got?
Properly, I say, there may be 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, which, amongst different issues, tells us to flee sexual immorality (porneia) as a result of the physique is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and we’re to honor God with our physique.
What else? They are saying.
Properly, I say, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says to keep away from sexual immorality (porneia) and be taught to manage your personal physique in a means that’s holy and honorable to the Lord, not in passionate lust, just like the heathen, who have no idea God.
Certain, however what else? They are saying.
What you actually need, I say, is a Scripture that goes one thing like, if Jack and Jill will not be married to anybody nor to one another, and never engaged to anybody nor to one another, and have intercourse with one another, that’s fallacious, and that they need to both cease having intercourse or get married.
Um, they are saying, that’s within the Bible?
Properly, that’s my paraphrase, I say. Then I level them to Exodus 22:16-17, a really attention-grabbing “case regulation” Scripture within the Previous Testomony. By “case regulation,” I imply a kind of “If … then …” instructions that gives some underlying ideas relevant past the instance used. As an example, when Scripture says in Exodus 23:4, “if you happen to come throughout your enemy’s ox or donkey wandering off, then take it again to him,” the appliance extends past oxen and donkeys, to canine, kids, bicycles, bank cards, and so on. Whether or not you’re engaged or not, don’t have intercourse exterior of marriage. Interval.
Exodus 22:16-17 provides instruction on what to do if an single, unengaged man has consensual intercourse with an single, unengaged lady: “If a person seduces (implies consent) a virgin (or a lady of marriageable age) who shouldn’t be pledged to be married, and sleeps together with her, he should pay the bride-price (or marriage current) and she or he shall be his spouse” (emphasis mine). Most students consider the identical prohibition is present in Deuteronomy 22:28-29,
“If a person occurs to satisfy a virgin who shouldn’t be pledged to be married and he seizes her and lies together with her, and they’re found … he should marry the woman….”
Most students consider that “rape” shouldn’t be being addressed right here, however consensual premarital intercourse (albeit the person’s sturdy initiation), particularly given the phrase “and they’re found.”
These is perhaps the clearest disapproval of premarital intercourse for singles in Scripture. The message couldn’t be extra apparent: Whether or not you’re engaged or not, don’t have intercourse exterior of marriage. Interval. For those who’re single and having intercourse, legitimize it and get married to the particular person with whom you’re having intercourse — get the piece of paper and go public.
It’s your alternative
It’s your alternative, I say. Public or personal. Tune of Solomon or hiding within the shadows. God’s means or your means.
These singles typically come to me hoping to discover a loophole, and some go away annoyed and upset. Some, although, go away with strengthened resolve, and for the primary time have a imaginative and prescient of affection and intercourse in the precise context — a imaginative and prescient of poetry and celebration.
I pray for the upset ones, for them to embrace God’s imaginative and prescient for his or her intercourse lives. I rejoice over those with new imaginative and prescient, as a result of I do know they are going to quickly uncover what actually good intercourse is all about.
Copyright 2006 John Thomas. All rights reserved.
