Too A lot and Not Sufficient: Therapeutic for the Enneagram 4 or Borderline-Fashion Persona
By Tamra Sattler, PhD, MFT (Mantra Books)
Too A lot and Not Sufficient is a ebook to assist these and family members who are suffering from emotional dis-regulation.
Yesterday was the primary day I posted my therapeutic memoir ebook on Fb known as “Too A lot and Not Sufficient” for pre-order on Amazon. It was a door knob second as I used to be working out the door to see purchasers and I simply clicked publish to all my Fb associates. A few of who I haven’t spoken to in forty years, some who’re full strangers, and most who have no idea that I had breast most cancers or struggled with deep emotional points. Massive exhale.
The impetus of this ebook got here from my twenty years of scientific work with a selected sort of consumer, my very own struggles with this similar character sort, and the therapeutic journey for all of us. This kind is broadly referred to within the Enneagram map as a Kind 4, and within the psychology world at a decrease stage of growth as having borderline traits or Borderline Persona Dysfunction. I turned fascinated with this explicit psychic construction who simply felt the world in a extra dramatic approach then most.
I’ll always remember once I first landed on my sort it felt like my world opened a bit extra. And that was after years of therapists saying I had what some would name borderline traits.
The traits embody an individual who’s extra delicate, artistic, and subjective at their greatest and at their worst self-sabotaging, dramatic, and unstable. All of us most likely know or have heard of a beloved one or buddy who could show these traits. And within the remedy world these people are tough to deal with when they’re extra recognized. My ebook is the exploration of this path.
Certainly one of my fundamental considerations in selling the ebook is being a licensed therapist and disclosing my story. In lots of therapeutic orientations the therapist is the clean slate for the consumer to challenge their unconscious and their unhealed wounds. In different types of remedy, a therapist could share their narrative as an intervention of kinds to learn the consumer. And in my expertise I solely share when it’s going to instantly influence the consumer. So evidently my ebook is my story and my full disclosure.
At this time in talking to my therapist, I used to be relieved to listen to his take that it’s my story and never all of me. Gosh it feels all of me, each nook and cranny. And to be an expert within the area who has handled this inhabitants whereas additionally fighting the identical points, it’s a fairly large popping out. There’s a good probability lots of my previous or present purchasers could not learn the ebook nevertheless it’s now on the market.
In talking of on the market, my buddy simply requested what’s the hardest factor about my ebook and I stated with out thought, judgment. It’s so secure to cover. It’s straightforward to painting a sure picture via social media and your personal life which you could management in layers of the way you need to be perceived relying on who and what. After which I suppose there may be vulnerability about proudly owning your self and your journey.
My ebook happened principally throughout Covid nevertheless I had began to plant the seeds years in the past.
I by no means marketed to my purchasers. They simply got here. Early in my profession I seen lots of them gave the impression to be variations of me with most of the similar key life occasions. How are you going to clarify that lots of them had toddler surgical procedures, Dad’s who cheated, and oldsters divorce at age ten? And most have been girls. So I fell in love with every of those people and as I obtained extra skilled I began attracting a extra clinically tough consumer often known as borderline character dysfunction. For about fifteen years I used to be within the thick of this inhabitants and neighborhood.
So lengthy to a restful evening sleep. Relying on the evening I might get a name that one in all my purchasers was going to take their very own life. I additionally had counter-transference to say the least. This meant that I used to be getting re-triggered by my purchasers struggles that have been buried deep inside me. It was fairly a time in San Francisco relationship and constructing my scientific apply oh and getting a doctorate in psychology. It appeared I used to be dwelling twenty-four seven within the emotional bowels of life.
The years of purchasers, college, and my very own deep dive rolled alongside. I used to be nonetheless very a lot centered on the exterior picture of life like getting one other job alongside my personal apply and training. Additionally sustaining a wealthy and enormous social group. It was all the time foot on the gasoline pedal after which someday after three breast surgical procedures I discovered myself packing as much as transfer. However the place? I settled on Boulder and loaded up my little Prius and off I went.
Life in Boulder has lots of what San Francisco provides like expertise, spirituality and nature nevertheless at a a lot slower tempo. They name this city a bubble for a motive. I used to be capable of gradual approach down to essentially get in contact with my precise self and never the self that had been profitable within the exterior actuality. Most days included yoga, meditation, walks, and constructing my apply once more. Relationships and relationship have been all the time an space I put lots of consideration so in fact that was additionally occurring. For a sort 4 a romantic connection is all the time on the forefront. And abandonment is all the time driving the worry of what’s beneath.
One of many deepest dives into the embodiment of myself occurred throughout psychedelic journeys. At first, I wanted to construct capability via MDMA after which I might kind a relationship with the extra confrontative psilocybin. As somebody with toddler surgical procedure it was extraordinarily therapeutic to crawl up into my guides arms and be held for hours. There actually aren’t any phrases of gratitude and shock for a way I lastly might be in my physique as myself.
There are lots of extra vital therapeutic modalities that basically allowed me to the touch and embody the deepest me. Lots of my purchasers have been additionally embarking on the identical therapeutic journey. It’s as if all of us discovered the magic formulation. I interviewed so many Varieties 4 people for the analysis and as I observe them in the present day I witness some sustainable transformation.
This brings me pleasure and can hopefully carry all of us the identical. This ebook is a companion to say you’re not an excessive amount of, you might be all the time simply sufficient.
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Too A lot and Not Sufficient is a therapeutic memoir and an explorative narrative a few explicit sort of character construction often known as Enneagram 4 and its borderline traits and emotional dis-regulation. This inhabitants has been recognized to be tough for therapists to deal with and households to tolerate and, most significantly, to just accept and embody.
Typically requested to seek the advice of and work with these purchasers, Dr. Sattler is aware of this character from the within.
Too A lot and Not Sufficient: Therapeutic for the Enneagram 4 or Borderline-Fashion Persona
By Tamra Sattler, PhD, MFT is on the market from Mantra Books or from wherever books are bought.
BOOK LINK: https://www.collectiveinkbooks.com/mantra-books/our-books/too-much-not-enough-healing-enneagram4
